Hello Everyone,

Thank you so much for the lovely messages, I am hurting so much at the moment, I went to take him out today again but he was to unwell with sickness and an upset stomach. He look a poor soul when I went in with my husband, he kept falling asleep, I left and went to his home to get it ready for him coming home possibly next week.

Looking around his house and at the pictures of him really got to me as he has lost so much weight. I feel so helpless too, there is nothing I can do. He is so weak and it is tearing him up to be so helpless. My mum does not help they are divorced and there has always been a bit of tension between us, I have tried so hard to handle her with kid gloves, but I think she is resenting it's me who is next of kin where dad is concerned.I hate tension and at a time like this it's hurting me more.

I keep thinking it will pass and all will be ok, then reality kicks in and I realise how hopeless things are. I plan to make the time he has left as special as possible, people will laugh around him and make him happy and we will go places and see things I know he will like. A positive mind works well in most cases and there are no guarantees with cancer. No one knows what will help and what wont but I will not give up trying to keep him here as long as possible.

I upset my daughter tonight asking her boyfriend to go home, he has a chest infection which he can't get rid of. I didn't think he was that bad until I heard him cough. He really wasn't well and I cannot afford to have colds brought into my house in case we get it and it could affect my dad.

I have been so strong for my 3 daughters but I am starting to crack now, I cannot stop crying tonight. I went and bought bits and pieces to make him more comfortable when he comes home, re made his bed and hoovered and tidied up for him. Then I left to go back to the hospital and called to see how he was, he was still sleeping. I decided just to come home and hopefully he will sleep off what upset him today.

My husband has been in Romania on business all week, and came home last evening. I have never been so glad to see him, he is a gem and was absolutely devastated not to be with me when I got the news. He really thought all would be ok, we got told the previous Friday they were thinking this was what he has. I hoped and prayed but deep in my stomach I think I knew.

Thank you again, your kindness is so much appreciated.

Lorna xx

I couldn't agree more, Ailsa. Lorna is a VERY special daughter.

Don't worry about sending your daughter's boyfriend home - you don't need a chest infection either. These kids don't always think though, do they.

You are all in our prayers

Love
Jeanxxxxx

So sorry about your Dad ,Lorna.

Love Sue

HI All,

It one thing after another, just before Xmas my daughter's beloved pet Tabby Cat died. She was absolutely devastated, he was her baby, she had had him from 6 weeks and he died aged 5 1/2. My daughter is only 16 and the rapport she had with Bob was so special.

This past week we also got the devastating news about my dad. There is nothing they can do to make the situation better, other than make him comfortable and pain free. Today he bounced back and was quite perky, ( We were at my daughters friend's baby's 1st Birthday today ) on the way up to see him I got a call from my brother to bring him in a kebab I already had something special organised for him to eat and told him so. But also said he can have one tomorrow all going well when he gets home, he was delighted as I had arranged for his Italian Friend to make a nice dish for him. She made 2 dishes for him and he had a feast when I arrived.

Then today it was my husbands beloved Black Cat Susie died at the vet, she had been poorly, she always misses Ken when he goes away. I had put it down to that, she was picky with food too which is quite common for her when he goes away. But today she was very breathless and my Husband and middle daughter took her to the vet, she died under the anaesthetic trying to draw fluid of her lungs. We had her to the vet 2 weeks ago and she was given an antibiotic which she had. The vet had said she had had a tumour in her lungs. My husband was devastated when he came home, we have had many animals and all were loved dearly.

It's strange that so many sad things happen at once, I miss them too but I feel numb about my dad and I plan to stop with him for a couple of days once he is home. He is in sheltered housing, so he will be observed by the wardens. He will have the Mc Millian Nurses coming in to see him too. My first plan is to fatten him up a bit so he is more positive looking in the mirror and seeing the face he is used to seeing looking back at him. I am hoping this will make him stronger and resistant to other germs.

Today was difficult for my elder daughter, seeing him his old self threw her into a false sense of security that all was ok. She cried for ages when we were home about Dad and Susie and Bob. It was strange not to have the cats coming to see us coming home.

Jenni, I have days when I want to scream and want to wake up and this horrible nightmare be over, I will never forget his face when he walked in and was given this devastating news, it was heartbreaking.

We sat sat for a time ourselves just talking before he went back to bed shell shocked. We stayed with him until tea time, I then had to go home and tell my other 2 daughter's and dad's family the news, we cried for hours that night. I have lost track of the days, the following morning I called to see how he had slept and how he was feeling. I talked to dad myself and then called back to ask to take him out for the day which I said earlier.

I hope by being strong and positive I can buy him time, I know I cannot change things but I will try very hard to keep him as long as I can.

You will all never know how much you are all helping me to deal with this, putting it down here is a great comfort to me and I can't thank you all enough.

Love Lorna xxx

Hi Lorna,
I am feeling so sorry for you. I can't stop the tears.
i lost my mum, it will be 5 years this march. she had gone into hospital and we really thought she was coming home but 3 weeks later she died. We felt so cheated and let down by the hospital. they never told us what was happening with her, until the day she died they said that when she was first admitted her organs had begun to fail. all the family were with her when she died my sister, brother and all her grandchildren and there partners 17 of us around her bed. I think she knew she was well loved. We were close and always there for one another so I don't regret anything.though would dearly love to hear and see her again. There was a very strange thing happened before my mum died. i remember one of the nurses told us that the last sense to leave is the hearing so to keep talking to mum which we all did individually during the day (17 of us in a small room all day was way too much so we took turns to sit with mum ) my brother I think always felt a little left out and posibly didn't spend as much time with mum over the years. He tried to say mums were closer to there daughters. But we know Mum did love him we had to listen how he had called round and that one visit would stay with her for weeks after. Any way when Mums breathing had changed we kinder knew so all gathered together. by this time mum had been unconcious and the morthine was helping her pain. we were all telling her how much we loved her and my brother took his turn and she turned her head and looked at him and smiled. I would not of believed it if i hadn't been there. We still talk about it now and joke mum was always hearing us tell her but big bruv speaks. What a reaction I'm glad it has helped him.
So cherish all those times you spend with your Dad now. and look after yourself.
thinking of you.
sue v
xx

hi Lorna,

just popping in to say caught up with the latest,

i'm sure you are all supporting each other as a strong Family during this awful time.

sending love and positive thoughts your way,

Suzanne x

Hi Lorna,
I hope you get some times to cherish in this time with your dad. My Mum died suddenly and there was so much unsaid between us so you at least have time to do that. Dave's dad died last October and we all sort of knew it was on the cards but nothing was said. About a month before we had a lovely day out with him and Dave's Mum, its a day I will never forget, very special, almost poetic, I think he knew. You now have a focus on what is really important which includes staying as well as you can and getting rid of germ ridden people out of your house! Eventually they'll understand.
Thinking of you Lorna, from your posts I think you have the inner strength to get through this
Sara
x

Hi Lorna just to say that I know where your coming from regards your dad.I lost my dad over ten years ago and i still miss him badly ,I thought he would always be here to look after me so please love your dad extra and make every day special not just for your dad but for you.Make it precious lol x

Lorna, you truly are a lovely daughter (and Mum). You have worked so hard to arrange all this and make sure your Dad had everything he needs. I hope your day at work helps to take some of the pain away for a while, and that together you can find ways to help each other. Mhairi sounds like a very special daughter/grandaughter too. Sending you lots of love xx Ailsa

hi Lorna,

pleased to hear your Dad is eating ... and he sounds a lot brigher in himself,

i know he will never be far from your thoughts, but work sounds good today to give you some relief.

your Daughter sounds a wonderful support to him, this is what Families are about.

i always feel it's good to cry but agree not infront of him.

take good care of yourself too.

Suzanne x